Lucifer S03E13 Review – Til Death Do Us Part

Another week and another episode of ‘Lucifer’ and this one does its best to move forward but actually, not much happens at all. Well, that’s not strictly true. I’ll say one thing for this show, it never fails to surprise me when it comes to the contents. Let’s just say that this episode contains something that I think hard-core patriotic Americans would consider to be the most offensive thing ever to be wrapped in the Stars and Stripes.

But all in good time.

This episode starts out with Lucifer and Pierce going through all of the different ways in which Pierce has tried to kill himself over the years. These include, chainsaws, swallowing a grenade and throwing himself into a volcano. Lucifer is forced to come to the very quick conclusion that nothing is going to work after he stabs Pierce one of Mazikeen’s special daggers that has been forged in Hell.

Whilst talking with Mazikeen, she points out that Chloe makes Lucifer vulnerable and I immediately thought to myself, ‘They explored that last week, please don’t say I’ve found a continuity error’. That turned out not to be the case.

The ‘Chloe’ theory leads Lucifer to the conclusion that he needs to get to know Pierce a lot better so that he can find out what makes Pierce vulnerable. This leads to a humorous scene in which Lucifer pretends to be a therapist and uses various phrases that he’s learned from Dr Linda over the many sessions he had with her when they both had clothes on. Speaking of which…

Where are Dr Linda and Amenadiel? They don’t appear in this episode and after last weeks surprise in which Mazikeen found out about their relationship, I thought that plot-line would be a significant factor in this weeks episode. Strangely, not. I wonder what’s happened to them? We all know that Mazikeen is not to be fucked with and this was a mega betrayal as she sees it. I might be getting a head of myself and I’ll wait until next weeks episode before I start wearing my tin foil hat and breaking out the conspiracy theories. Back to the plot.

It was clear right from the get-go that Pierce is not the ‘sharing’ kind of guy and the writers couldn’t resist slipping in a ‘Superman’ reference through the cat-flap when they thought no one was looking. But I saw it and I think the writers should go into a room and seriously think about what they’ve done. For shame.

Since this is a ‘cop-show’, there’s a murder and Chloe Decker is called in to solve it.

A suburban lady has been thrown into a wood-chipper and Lucifer uses every opportunity to try and get close to Pierce. Well, they get as close as any two people can get.

Since the victim is revealed to be a drug-manufacturer, Chloe’s running with the theory that the victim was killed by a ‘neighbourhood watchdog’ who wanted to ‘clean up’ the neighbourhood. They need a few police officers to go in undercover. Step forward, Luke and Marcus Morningstar/Pierce.

Although, they’re meant to be on a job and getting to know their neighbours a little bit more so they can find a killer, Lucifer uses this time to try and get to know Pierce. And Pierce isn’t having any of it.

I mentioned in the opening paragraph that there is a very special scene in this episode that will possibly be slapped all over YouTube by blushing fans right now. In case you haven’t seen it, I’ll explain but believe me, this really needs to be seen to be believed.

Lucifer tries to bait the killer by being a bad neighbour and in true ‘Lucifer’ fashion, he completely ignores the widely conceived art of doing things by halves. In order to become a ‘bad neighbour’, Lucifer portrays all of the ‘bad neighbour’ traits such as; having half naked girls cavorting around the place, throwing front garden parties, playing music too loud but the cherry on the cake is the article of clothing that Lucifer wears presumably to attract attention to himself. And boy, does it do just that. This piece or ‘scrap’ of clothing can only be described as an ‘American Flag thong’ and such a garment leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

I’m not complaining. I think it’s brilliant. I have to say and this will be the last thing I will say on the matter, in that garment, Lucifer does have a lovely pair of… legs. Moving on.

The rouse works and a suspect rears their head. But it’s only a supporting suspect, they still need to find the real killer. They have the killers handwriting and all they need is to match the handwriting to another sample. But our crew has a plan.

The ‘happily married’ couple throw a nice civilised garden party with absolutely no thongs and ask all the party-goers to sign a guest book so they can have a sneak peek at their handwriting. But during the party, Lucifer and Pierce have a domestic that started about the placement of the snacks but it leads to Lucifer storming off. Chloe talks him round and Lucifer returns. They have a sweet reconcile in front of an audience of neighbours which leads to Pierce getting a proper kiss. I’m not sure who I’m more jealous of.

Believe it or not, they catch the killer. Case closed.

Earlier on, Chloe is surprised that Pierce is staying since he had planned to leave but now is not. She later tells Lucifer that she thinks that he convinced him to stay. It’s no secret that Chloe likes Pierce and why wouldn’t she? He gorgeous. Once the case is over, Chloe invites him out for drinks with the other officers. Pierce declines as he knows why she’s really asking him. He says that he’s ‘not ready’ for a relationship but agrees that the two of them did share a moment in the previous episode.

Wedded bliss over, Lucifer and Pierce meet up at Lucifer’s penthouse. Lucifer has figured out Pierce’s vulnerability. Pierce can never be in a long term relationship or even be close with anyone because he will out-live anyone he falls in love with. Pierce wants to die because he doesn’t want to be alone. Lucifer reassures him that he is not alone and they will find a solution, together. Awww. Don’t throw those rings away just yet, lads.

And there we have it, 45 minutes of a plot that doesn’t go anywhere except to confirm what everyone either already knew or was thinking. This is the problem with extended seasons. Season 1 had it all going on. 13 episodes that contained everything that the audience needed to know. But now in Season 3, we are facing a gruelling 20 odd episode arc that going to be stuffed with so much filler, we might as well give up and call it a cushion. Also, I’m slightly concerned that Chloe’s role is being reduced even though she’s a main character. She had loads to do in the first two seasons what with her growing romantic attachment to Lucifer but now that’s squashed, she’s got shit all to do. It seems that the crush on Pierce was only put in so that it would give her something else to do other than solve murders.

Even though I’ve bashed this episode in the last paragraph, I didn’t hate the episode. It’s perfectly satisfactory for it’s comedic efforts and other thongs… I mean things… Goodbye.

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