Happy Halloween, Everyone! 🎃
I actually made it this year and here we are with the last film in this year’s review of a franchise, ‘FD5’. I made a comment in the closing chapter of the last ‘Final Destination’ film that I have only watched ‘FD5’ once and I don’t remember hating it… What I will say is that ‘The Final Destination’ is still the worst.
‘FD5’ or ‘The Bridge One’ as it’s known in our house, centers around Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto) who has a premonition about a bridge collapsing whilst he and some of his colleagues are going on a company retreat. Of course, the bridge collapses and in true ‘Final Destination’ fashion, Sam’s freak out saves a bunch of his co-workers and we can start the clock as to when the less well developed characters will die.
The best scene in the movie is the opening scene at the company where all of these terrible characters show up one after the other and we as the audience can envision all the terrible things that are in their future.
When Nick has his premonition, this is the list; Candice (Ellen Wroe), Isaac (P.J. Byrne), Olivia (Jacqueline Macinnes Wood), Nathan (Arlen Escarpeta), Dennis (David Koechner), Peter (Miles Fisher) and finally, Sam. Sam’s girlfriend, Molly survives. Molly is played by Emma Bell who was the same woman who played Parker in ‘Frozen (2010)’. That’s the film about the three kids on the ski-lift rather than that cartoon film that everyone loves. I wondered why Molly had no personality whatsoever.
Let’s not fanny around, we’ll start with Candice who is the girlfriend of Peter who is Sam’s friend and boss.
Candice is a gymnast and just by seeing and hearing ‘gymnast’, we know that this is going to be both a juicy and a painful way to go. And indeed it is.
It is a very long winded way to get to the actual death so I’m going to try and remember. The A/C isn’t working and guys are trying to fix it. The unit on the ceiling is leaking water next to a power cable that has a tiny section of covering removed, exposing the live wire. BUT this is a red herring because Candice drops the towel onto the water without realizing the danger.
Next, a screw somehow drops on to the… … I have no idea what it’s called… the thing that Gymnast’s walk and do backflips on… the horse? Is that what it’s called? That thing, there’s a screw on it and the film seems to take immense pleasure in having the actors perform their routines very close to this screw. Every time Candice steps near it, we as the audience are meant to suck in air through our teeth and cringe and wince.
Then Candice steps off and at this point, I’m thinking ‘this film is cock-teasing me, can we get on with this, I’ve got shit to do’. Believe me, this death is worth waiting for. So another girl gets onto the thing that the gymnasts do their routine on and this girl stands on the screw, falls off the thing, knocks over the bowl of chalk, distracts Candice whilst she’s twirling around on a bar and she flings off, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. Trust me, of all the characters that are absolutely atrocious, it doesn’t get much more satisfying than that.
Don’t judge me, OK. Every one knows that none of these characters are likeable and this franchise is popular for the long and elaborate death scenes and no one wants to see a character that they like die so lets get in some characters who are absolute cockheads and we can enjoy some nice, gory deaths.
The next person to die is a prime example.
Isaac is a strange character because he’s a womanizer but he’s not like Chad from the last film or should I say, he doesn’t look like Chad from the last film. He’s not your conventional ‘stud’. He may still have some success with the ladies and good for him but he’s actually a dick with it.
Isaac steals a gift certificate for a spa from one of his dead colleagues so he’s already got it coming to him. He has a massage and while he’s sleeping with acupuncture needles in him, a fire starts from a drop of incense ash falling onto a towel soaked with alcohol. Isaac falls off the table but just manages to escape the fire that burns that last of the bottle of alcohol that fell. Then a shelf above him breaks and a heavy Buddha statue falls and crushes his head.
Outside, they see my favourite character, William Bludworth. That’s right, Tony Todd is back onscreen and I love it! He was also at the memorial for the people in Sam’s company that died and told the survivors that Death didn’t like to be cheated. Now he’s here to give the film its own rule. Remember ‘only new life can defeat death’ from ‘FD2’? Well it’s a new film so it’s a new rule. Get ready because this one is a doozy.
As far as Death is concerned, the survivors are already dead. It just hasn’t been made ‘official’. So, if the survivors want to live, then they have to kill someone else, and that person will take their place on Death’s list whilst the survivor will take the remaining life of the person they killed. Make sense? It makes about as much sense as anything else in this ridiculous franchise so yeh, let’s roll with it.
Next is Olivia.
Olivia’s is particularly nasty. Anything involving ‘eyes’ probably will be. Olivia wears glasses and I don’t know why she’s so down about it because I think that she looks cute with glasses but anyway. Surviving the Bridge has given her a new lease on life and made her ‘take the leap’ by getting laser eye surgery but what she doesn’t realise is that she’s in a ‘Final Destination’ film and it’s her turn.
So, somehow some water drips onto an electrical socket with causes the laser to malfunction and burn right through eye, face and hands. But here’s the really stupid bit. Sam and Molly realise that Olivia is next and so go to the office to find her, they hear her scream and run into the office. When they get in, Olivia has free herself from the chair but slips on an eye from a teddy bear she was squeezing and falls out of a window. Erm… what? That’s fucking stupid. What was this window made out of? I’m genuinely asking. Do you know how much force it takes do break a window with your own body? A lot. Much more than falling against it.
By now, we’re more than halfway through the film and there are still at least four more deaths to go.
Nathan is next on the list here’s the twist because there’s always an instance where a character is meant to die but someone else intervenes. This time, Nathan has trouble with a guy who works in the factory he manages, Roy. At this point, Roy gets in Nathan’s face and Nathan sees his death approaching in the form of a large hook and so Nathan, whether intentionally or unintentionally, causes Roy to end up hooked on this hook. Dead.
The group soon realise that William was right because Nathan now has Roy’s remaining life and Death skips Nathan and kills Dennis by slamming a spanner in his head. Ouch.
Now we’re edging closer to the end. Sam works in a restaurant ‘Miro81’… get it? And he’s been offered an apprenticeship in Paris… Hm? Sam takes the apprenticeship and makes dinner for Molly after the service. Then Peter shows up and he’s crazy since he really wants to live even though his girlfriend died but he can’t kill anyone but he can really because he showed up to kill Molly. This whole thing leads to a whole thing where the agent that’s been following Sam through the whole film, Agent Block ‘Courtney B. Vance) is killed by Peter so now he’s killed someone and taken their remaining lifespan. But, he’s left witnesses so now he has to kill Molly and Sam which would presumably mean he gets extra life for killing them? It doesn’t really matter because Sam kills him and that means that Death has taken Peter and skipped Sam. Molly, as we know, is safe.
That means it’s over right…. WRONG!
Now we have the end sequence and this was actually quite clever and I remember being surprised when I watched it for the first time.
All through the film, there are traits that are missing from the previous films such as any lack of modern technology when we all assumed that the events of the film were taking place in 2010/2011 and also the obligatory ‘we did research about the other people who had premonitions and now it’s happening to us’ scene.
Well, Sam and Molly are on the plane to Paris when they see a commotion and a few kids are thrown off. When they take off, they overhear a passenger say that the kid had a dream about the plane blowing up and they realise what is happening, and the plane blows up. Elsewhere, Nathan is in a bar and he’s told that Roy had a brain aneurysm that could have burst at any moment and in split second, the landing gear from the explosion falls through the ceiling and kills Nathan.
For all the terrible acting, the ridiculous characters, the awful script and the CGI that was better than ‘The Final Destination’ but I think could have been better, revealing at the end that whole film was a prequel and having the main characters die on Flight 180 was a nice twist and I think that’s why I remember liking this film. I couldn’t remember anything else except the ending and I suppose that is a way to save a bad film, have a memorable ending.
‘Final Destination 5’ had the same budget as the last one with $40 Million and made $157.9 Million at the box office which is really good.
Also, despite what I think, people seemed to like it with a 62% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Apparently, people thought this one was better in 3D.
So that’s all of the films, on time, clock it in.
If I were to rank them from worst to best, it would go; ‘The Final Destination’, ‘Final Destination 5’, Final Destination 3’, ‘Final Destination 2’ and ‘Final Destination’. The first one was definitely the best and it was a steady decline since then.
We probably won’t have to wait very long for more because from what I’ve read, the inevitable is going to occur and there will be a reboot. Hopefully, someone will have a premonition and stop this terrible thing from happening. That’s the best gag I have for that.
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