Wounds (2019) Review – Seriously Underwhelming

2020 is going to be a year of weird movies, I can see it. The first two movies I’ve reviewed have been entities unto themselves. Totally impenetrable.

I saw the trailer for this film on Netflix and it did look really good. The whole film… is totally confusing. Let me explain at first with the plot.

Will (Armie Hammer) is a barman in New Orleans. One night, he breaks up a fight between the town drunk, Eric (Brad William Henke) and another patron. Eric is stabbed in the face with a broken bottle and one of the college kids who were in the bar drops a phone which Will picks up. Over the coming days, Eric begins to receive strange messages on the phone and his sense of reality starts to collapse.

Sounds good, right? In reality, it’s seriously underwhelming.

A lot of the film appears to be this bizarre love triangle that Will seems to have with his girlfriend, Carrie (Dakota Fanning) and another one of his regulars at the bar, Alicia (Zazie Beetz). She has a boyfriend, Jeffrey (Karl Glusman) and even while she’s sat next to him, she seems to be perfectly fine with flirting with Will right in front of him.

As for Will, life with Carrie isn’t that great. It just doesn’t seem that they have a very good relationship. It’s obvious that he has a developing problem with alcohol  and then drugs whilst she’s a squeaky clean mature student who may or may not have a developing relationship with her professor.

So basically, everyone may (or may not) be shagging everyone else.

But what about this phone?

I was imagining that ‘paranoia’ would be the aim of the game and I was (kind of) right.

To start, Will starts getting strange texts on this phone that are violent and disturbing. Then he starts being followed, then he loses the phone. When I say he ‘loses’ the phone, I mean he throws it out of the window because he was hallucinating that cockroaches were all over him. Remember, ‘1922’? That really funny ‘Stephen King’ adaptation on Netflix? Remember how rats were the central theme for some reason. Well, in ‘Wounds’ it’s cockroaches.

Cockroaches are all over the bar that Will works in and soon after he starts receiving strange messages, he begins to hallucinate cockroaches all over his body which is when he throws the phone out of the car window (because he’s driving when this happens) and it’s picked up by someone in the car that’s been following him.

Even though he doesn’t have the phone, he continues to have hallucinations and then his girlfriend begins to become obsessed with the person sending the messages, Garrett. He comes home once or twice to find her staring at her laptop which is displaying nothing but a portal.

Long story short, this film is so confusing and all the spooky stuff that’s going on doesn’t appear to be happening for a reason. It’s so confusing and so forgettable that I’m hard-pressed for things to say about it. In the obligatory ‘research about spooky things that are happening segment’, Will discovers a legend about a cult who use a wound as a portal to bring stuff through because that always works out perfectly for all involved when that happens. Remember ‘Event Horizon’? No one wants that to happen again.

After he reads that, Will starts scratching underneath his armpit and I’m thinking ‘Oh, this is going to be the wound because I saw him scratching before’ but nope, this is a setup for a hallucination and then he has a shower and scrubs his pit until it bleeds and it’s never mentioned again.

In the later part of the film, Will breaks up with Carrie after but not directly due to making out with Alicia and then trying to have sex with her but she’s not into it because she has a boyfriend. He then begins behaving erratically and just being a grumpy bastard to the point where he loses his job.

The ending is really anti-climactic.

Will decides to stay with Eric, and it turns out his bottle wound that he sustained at the start is the portal and Will decides that he’s got nothing left so summons something through Eric’s wound as cockroaches surround them. That’s the end. Bored and confused.

So yeh, not that great. Give it a miss.

 

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Patient 187

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